The anticipation is killing me

So it’s the day of the interview and I’m writing this to keep me calm and focused. I’ve done the research, I’ve memorised some key phrases and buzz words which I want to slip in if the going’s good. I’ve taken on board advice from friends and re-read a book on interview skills. Be humble but come across as a problem solver. Be humble. Humble. Penitent! Penitent man. Only the penitent man shall pass. Only the penitent man. Penitent man. THE PENITENT MAN IS HUMBLE IN THE EYE’S OF GOD!! DUCK!!! Wait, no, that’s Indiana Jones and the search for the holy grail.

So what next, after I finish this? Perhaps I should look at what jobs are out there. So I know my options. I can check the BBC website to see if they have gotten anywhere with my application. I bet they had hundreds of applications for the post. It’s important to have options available so I don’t get desperate and start crying at their shoes.

“Please, please, for god’s sake give me the job. I’ve only got one more individually catered pocket of porridge left and the car’s about to be repossessed – and I’ don’t even own a car! You bastards, you bastards are all the same with your shoes and your .. faces. I don’t mean it, I’m drunk. Oh lordy have mercy on this shattered man. Give us a job.”

The shoes are polished, the tie picked out and all that remains is for me to carefully pick words from my brain that give me the best chance of getting the job. Actually I need to link those words into coherent sentences or it could all go wrong.
Thorough. Punctual. Incendiary. Taffy. Thanks. Bye.

So be humble and offer them a solution to their problems. They are looking for someone to fill the role and relieve a burden on them. All I have to do is show them I can be part of the solution and not another problem. I’ve been running interviews lately for someone to take the spare room in my flat. I’ve mentioned the search before. The truth is I was looking for someone who is not going to give me any problems. I could have gone with a riskier option and had someone who I couldn’t beat up, but I thought it best to go with the smaller guy. Of course I’m joking, sort of.

Right on with it. Wish me luck. The anticipation is killing me.