Sunday, 5 April 2009

i got a job

i got the job. not sure where this can go now.....

Monday, 23 March 2009

Third interview nerves are killing me.

Well I reached the next and last stage of the interview process and I’m more nervous than I was for either of the previous two because at this stage all I can do is mess it up! I’m thinking I might just keep my mouth shut and nod occasionally. Or at the most restrict my answers to no more than thirty second responses.

Also I’ve completely run out of original questions to ask. I’ve got, “Did you choose the decor yourself?” and “Where do you get your hair cut?” left.

So the three tips for a third interview are,

Say as little as possible
Always keep your trousers on
And, no matter how right it might feel to wear your regular clothes, you know, to show them a bit of the real you! Don’t. Always wear the interview suit as it’s a sort of deflector shield.

I’m putting all my eggs into one basket and I keep trying not to. I’m also spending money as if I’ve probably got a job and I haven’t. That said, a friend told me I might as well spend like I’ve got a job tomorrow because, come tomorrow, I might not! It made sense at the time.

Third interview nerves are killing me.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Second interview angst is killing me

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. He builds a raft using the last of the resources at hand, one that is sturdy enough to brave the seas and get him rescued. He spends all his time and energy building the raft but recognises soon it will be too heavy for him to lift so he heaves it down to the water’s edge. He erects a mast and even turns a washed up shirt into a flag to put atop. He can visualise his escape from the island and he can taste the salt air. All he needs is for tomorrow to pile on supplies of smoked meats and fish, and bottles of fresh water that will sustain him for up to two weeks and eventual rescue.

In the night he dreams a huge wave comes in and snatches the raft from him. He holds on to the thick guide rope and buries the soles of his feet in the wet sand but the raft is too heavy and the rope too slippery and he can’t hold on. He gives it one last inhuman effort but alas the raft is taken by the ruthless ocean. The storm rages around him and he falls to his knees pounded by rain. He watches hopelessly as his salvation drifts off into the night, until finally it disappears into the darkness.

The same is true of a final interview. You have invested so much in getting to the final stage that you can almost reach out and touch the salary, benefits and everything else that goes with regular employment. And at the same time you know it can all be snatched from you by a simple act of nature – maybe the CEO doesn’t see you as a fit for the company or one of the interviewers is in a bad mood.

I’ll tell you how it goes sometime after tomorrow. I hope I will wake and my raft will be there waiting to carry me to salvation. I have a second interview and hope to make it to the third and final interview stage. I am building my raft of research and tethering it together with strands of knowledge. I can only hope it is sturdy enough and that nature doesn’t decide to screw me over.

This second interview angst is killing me.

Monday, 16 March 2009

Why we are where we are

If you have never watched Jon Stewart’s Daily show (on More 4 and repeated online) you really should. It can be schmaltzy and at times somewhat trite, and it isn’t always as funny as it is often touted to be, but then you will get some truly extraordinary piece of television like this (about 23 mins long and only for those in the UK, see below for further options):

Jon Stewart, on previous shows leading up to this one, highlights the fact that financial channels such as CNBC are on the side of inflating the markets and are rarely interested in serious journalism exposing the corruption , neglect and mismanagement that has put us all in the position we are in right now – and the reason why it is so hard for me and millions of others to get a job. Families are being put to the sword and pensions are being lost and Jon Stewart, in this one magnificent interview, articulates the thoughts of everyone who is pissed off at the way the people operating the financial system have screwed us all over.

The link above will last for about 5 days but you will likely find it again on youtube (enter Jim Cramer Vs Jon Stewart) or on the Daily Show website at

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Dry mouth syndrome is killing me

Well I’ve thead, th.., I nud u drunk water. Ahhhhh! Well I’ve said my piece and delivered evidenced and practical examples of the work I’ve done in previous roles. I feel I acquitted myself reasonably well in the interview except for one small problem, dry mouth syndrome! I don’t get outwardly nervous so my demeanour and voice are never affected by stress, I do however sweat like a fat man walking up a hill. If they had insisted I remove my jacket I would have had to claim my shirt was two-tone. I also get dry mouth syndrome, most likely as a result of my sieve like body.

Sure, it’s not a pleasant image, believe me I know, but the point is I should always have some water on hand and normally I do. The problem was they were late interviewing me and I was offered drinks on several occasions which I turned down. The receptionist offered, the person interviewing me popped out and asked if the receptionist had offered, then the second interviewer, on suggesting we begin the interview, offered again. Again I refused as I didn’t need one.

By the time I really did need a drink I felt I was so committed to not having one that to go back on it now would show me up as a flip-flopper. Flip flops can kill a Presidential candidate (see in particular John McCain’s ridiculed views on abortion so what would it do to me? NO. I set out my non-drink position early on and I was going to stick to it even though by the end I, and probably they, could hear my rough hewn sandpaper tongue scraping against the corrugated iron roof of my cave like mouth.

From now on I take my own supplies, bottle of water, prĂȘt a manger sandwich and a transistor radio in case of Die Hard style interruptions. Maybe just the water.

Time will tell if I get called back for a second interview, or if my dry mouth has sabotaged my chances. This dry mouth syndrome is killing me.

Friday, 13 March 2009

The anticipation is killing me

So it’s the day of the interview and I’m writing this to keep me calm and focused. I’ve done the research, I’ve memorised some key phrases and buzz words which I want to slip in if the going’s good. I’ve taken on board advice from friends and re-read a book on interview skills. Be humble but come across as a problem solver. Be humble. Humble. Penitent! Penitent man. Only the penitent man shall pass. Only the penitent man. Penitent man. THE PENITENT MAN IS HUMBLE IN THE EYE’S OF GOD!! DUCK!!! Wait, no, that’s Indiana Jones and the search for the holy grail.

So what next, after I finish this? Perhaps I should look at what jobs are out there. So I know my options. I can check the BBC website to see if they have gotten anywhere with my application. I bet they had hundreds of applications for the post. It’s important to have options available so I don’t get desperate and start crying at their shoes.

“Please, please, for god’s sake give me the job. I’ve only got one more individually catered pocket of porridge left and the car’s about to be repossessed – and I’ don’t even own a car! You bastards, you bastards are all the same with your shoes and your .. faces. I don’t mean it, I’m drunk. Oh lordy have mercy on this shattered man. Give us a job.”

The shoes are polished, the tie picked out and all that remains is for me to carefully pick words from my brain that give me the best chance of getting the job. Actually I need to link those words into coherent sentences or it could all go wrong.
Thorough. Punctual. Incendiary. Taffy. Thanks. Bye.

So be humble and offer them a solution to their problems. They are looking for someone to fill the role and relieve a burden on them. All I have to do is show them I can be part of the solution and not another problem. I’ve been running interviews lately for someone to take the spare room in my flat. I’ve mentioned the search before. The truth is I was looking for someone who is not going to give me any problems. I could have gone with a riskier option and had someone who I couldn’t beat up, but I thought it best to go with the smaller guy. Of course I’m joking, sort of.

Right on with it. Wish me luck. The anticipation is killing me.

Monday, 9 March 2009

Looking for a flat mate is nearly killing me

Got no money, blah, blah, blah! Need to rent my spare room out, yada, yada, yada! So I’ve been looking for a tenant to share my home. I’m sure you can imagine the trauma involved in finding the right person. It’s a business deal but it’s also my home life. It’s extra cash but consider my sanity. Getting the right person can be something of a minefield. I think I have one but until the cash is in my hand I’m not going to get carried away.

Here’s the sort of thing you have to deal with, no additions, no editing. This guy sounds like a blast, no?

Cool guy looking for young virbrant houseshare

Hi, I will keep this a bit detailed so you know what you might get. I am 26 year old guy, very easy to get along with who is self employed and looking for a place in London with good transport links (24-7 bus service if possible). I work from home so spend lot of time on my computer but am sociable as well, I have a large selection of DVD's and CD's, a Wii and Xbox360, a 42" TV, Blu Ray player etc so the room I am in needs to be big enough to fit all this, and the room I am in needs to also come with a TV connection, internet and Sky connection, but as I said I am happy to socialise as well and only spend a lot of time in my room because it is my work, and while I like being on my own I like being with people as well. I love music and goto gigs as regulary as possible, like things from Rock n Roll to Indie to singer/songwriters and also finding good up and coming bands because tickets to see them are cheap! Love going to the pub as well. I also have a passion for foreign films and have tons of DVD's that include them (Over 600 DVD's and about same amount of CD's), so I have plenty of stuff you can borrow! I also support Liverpool so no Man Utd fans! (Just kidding). I do go out for all nighters sometimes so sometimes I can come back in the early hours, normally once/twice a week and normally on a weekend, but sometimes during the week (Rarely). I am not a professional, I am not a suit wearing guy, just a chilled guy who might look a bit rough and ready but am easy to get along with. I can provide references from the estate agents of where I currently live and would like a 3 monthish rolling contract (Maxium of 6 months, but not 12 month even tho I will likely stay longer then that it is just you never know with this economy what can happen) and I can pay upto £750 a month, perhaps more for the right place. I don't care if I share with male/female, gay/straight, black/white, etc etc, as long as you are cool, and would ideally prefer a few people in the house but will consider anything as long as you are fun but I also appreciate people have to work :) Ideally I'd like something for around Mid April onwards, I am in no rush to move so if it is something bit later in the year that is fine.